But I just wanted to express this, right now while I am feeling it, even though I feel it pretty often these days.
I am kind of intensely happy in my life right now. I'm really grateful that I feel that way, but it's kind of crazy, and really cool. It usually takes me a few months to adjust to a new situation and really like it, whether that be a new apartment or a new ward or a new state or whatever, but I am already feeling adjusted here and really enjoying my life, and that is a really fantastic feeling. I don't have a lot of time to post right now, so I may have to come back to this idea later to better communicate what I mean and to develop this idea, but almost every day I have a moment, like I did just now, of realizing how much I LOVE what I get to do right now.
I am in a PhD program that is really my field, and I am LOVING my coursework. (Weird!) Even the really long day spent all in one place the other day didn't drive me crazy because the work I was doing all day was so interesting to me! For my student job I get to work on the project that initially got me interested in this university, and within that job I get to do several different types of tasks, most ;) of which are really interesting to me, and that, again, are really in my field.
I am living alone for the first time ever, and I am loving it. I am really happy in my apartment, and I am actually cooking pretty much every day (shall I pause while you pick yourselves up off the floor?), and I bring my leftovers to school for lunch like a good little poor grad student. I clean my apartment, and I make my bed every day, and I have two bookshelves and a desk, for which I paid a grand total of $0.99. (And that was for pegs to hold up the shelves of the bookshelf that I found next to the dumpster at my apartment complex.) I bought my flatware at the dollar store, and don't own a frying pan yet, but there's lots that you can do with a saucepan with a flat bottom. ;)
I like my town, and I read on the bus, so my 30-minute commute to and from campus doesn't drive me nuts.
So it's not a glamorous life :) , and maybe I'm just in a "honeymoon period" and this feeling will wear off as I get used to things and get into the rigor of my program, but I really hope it doesn't wear off, and I feel so calm and normal about everything that I really don't think it will. Quite honestly, it thrills me, and startles me a little bit, how happy and content and at home I feel in this crazy new life of mine.
Just thought I'd share. Here's hoping that sharing doesn't jinx the feeling and make it go away! :)
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11 comments:
Margaret!!! I am so thrilled to hear everything is going so well for you. It just makes me happy to read your post! I can feel your enthusium running through the cord of my mouse into my fingers. ZAP! Well, keep up the hard work! I am striving for this state of bliss that you seem to have found. Any pointers?
That's how I feel at the beginning of every semester. It usually dulls a bit, but if it ever disappeared, I wouldn't still be in academe.
PS - I love the mental image of you seeing a bookshelf in the dumpster and thinking, "Hey, I could USE that!" then seeing you rummage through garbage to get it out.
Jer - it was sitting OUTSIDE the dumpster, a few feet away, in fact, and I was driving by and saw it. I inspected it carefully, and then cleaned it carefully and thoroughly before putting any of my precious books on it.
And I never really thought I would do that, either, although I know lots of grad students do. I really think I only did it because when I was in MN visiting my cousins, who are in grad school, the weekend before school started, we got my desk that way - we were walking by a dumpster, saw it sitting nearby, inspected it, approved it :) and then shoved it in the back of my car for the trip back to my town. And then I cleaned it before putting any stuff in it.
So I was in the dumpster-diving mode when I saw that bookshelf.
So that's the story.
And I haven't felt this way at the beginning of any semester for a long time. Or maybe ever. But I've been carrying the "drama and trauma" of my Masters for so long that I think I got tainted a bit. :) So it's really exciting for me to have a fresh start here, without that "I took longer to do a Masters than most people take to do a bachelors" baggage - here I am starting fresh, and I love the work I'm doing, and I'm going to do it RIGHT and QUICKLY this time! :)
Yay!! I'm so happy you're happy! And I KNOW how you feel about dumpster diving! And way to be cooking and bringing food to school! That's awesome, champ!
I got my desk that way too! :) Hooray for happiness!
You make your bed every day!!! wow, good job.
What exactly is this project you are doing? I have always wanted to find something that I really enjoyed studying and that was just perfect for me, but I haven't yet. I'm glad you've found something you truly enjoy!
Margaret! When did you leave DC? I am so glad you are happy. Were you planning on relocating all along? I can't believe we didn't get together more than once while we were both there! Oh yeah, we are living in UT now. Crazy huh?
HOORAY for HAPPINESS! You deserve it, Margaret. Then again, it doesn't surprise me that you're so happy with your new surroundings. You have such a good attitude about things. You make the best out of every situation. You're really likeable. And you're smart and tough and faithful, too!
BTW, would the empress of happiness and bliss be willing to send some of that my way? ;)
Can't wait to hear more about what you're up to, etc.
i havent checked your blog in sooooooooo long! (sorry about that) but it's so cool to have checked today and see that you are so happy with your life! i share your happiness. i hope things continue to be absolutely fabulous for you! love you
I'm SO glad to hear that you're extrememly happy! How fun!!
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