Tuesday, July 08, 2008

New life

I've had blogger's block for about a week now, which is not really that long, but the last time I remember feeling this way about blogging was right after President Hinckley died. I wanted so badly to write something profound, something meaningful, something significant, about his life, or what he meant to me, or how he impacted my life, and I couldn't get the words and thoughts to come together. I wanted to post this picture, my favorite picture of him, and to explain that it's my favorite, even though you can't even see his face, because what you can see is the love of the people for their beloved prophet, and their joy at being able to greet him. And because it's my dad's favorite picture of him for that same reason, and he sent it out to us after President Hinckley died, with some of his thoughts about him.

But I couldn't get the words to come together, and I didn't want to offer only a half-hearted post for something so important to me, even though I guess that's what I just did. :{

Well, my sister had her baby girl last weekend, and I'm feeling that same speechless kind of feeling! I am SO HAPPY that she's finally here, but I've been trying to figure out since she was born what I want to say to portray all that I feel about it, and I'm not sure I've figured it out yet...

I've seen pictures of her, and she is a CUTE little thing, with lots of hair, her momma's nose, and her daddy's toes. :) And I'm going to visit next week, for a week, and I'm really excited to BE there and to get to meet her and hold her and tell her I love her and see my sister and brother-in-law as parents!

And I've already had precious, precious conversations with My Sister The New Mom and My Brother-In-Law The New Dad about their baby, and about getting her here, and about what she means in each of our lives, and what we mean in hers. And she looks like both of them! I don't know why it surprises me, with each baby I see, when I see pieces of their mom and their dad in them, but it always does. It's humbling and beautiful to see how Heavenly Father took the physical characteristics of both parents, and mixed them, and came up with a new unique little person!

And my mom is there now, and I'm deep-down-to-my-core pleased and happy and satisfied that she gets to be there. She flew in about 6 hours after the baby was born, and I love LOVE LOVE that she is there - for my sister's sake, and for my niece's sake, and mostly for my mom's sake. Her kids, and consequently, their kids, are so important to her, and are the focus of so many of her actions and choices, and bring her so much joy, that it makes me profoundly happy to know that she is there and is so happy to be with her newest grandbaby.

And I was so THRILLED to hear that my niece was born that after I sobbed on the phone to My Sister The New Mom when she called to tell me the news I immediately stacked up and planned to return those 4 library books that I'd been renewing online again and again with the thought that I'd read the series again. It seems silly to me now, and it seemed a little silly to me then, that that was my big reaction to the news, but I needed to DO something right then - to have some kind of a fresh start, however small. It didn't seem worth it, with this new wonderful LIFE in the world, to let unnecessary and unimportant things clutter up my room or my life.

Happy Birthday, Baby Casey! I'm so glad you're here and part of our family!


Danielle said...

Thank you so much for sharing this, Margaret. Just minutes before reading, I was thinking -- what if I had a different life, what can I do to feel a sense of renewed purpose in life; to feel something special, magical, new, beautiful, peaceful, joyful, and simple-yet-profound?

Needless to say, to read your Blog headline "New Life" was so fitting for me personally.

Anyway, I LOVE that you talked about President Hinckley's life, how much he meant to you (and to others, like me), then mentioned Baby Casey, your mom, Amy, Heavenly Father's love, personal introspection, and the miracle of life -- ALL in the SAME blog entry. It was short, simple yet said so much.

THANK YOU for sharing!

I don't tell you this often enough, but I really do admire your strength and courage. No matter what's going on in your life, or where it leads you - you tackle it; you embrace it with open arms. I wish I was more like that. You just forge on, whatever the adventure may be, and still manage to maintain your sense of humor - and your faith. I so dig that about you, girl!

Love ya!

The Nates said...

Margaret, you are an amazing woman! I miss you and I am so excited for Amy and I am dying to see pictures. I keep checking Amy's blog, so when you get there, help her out for all of us waiting to see her!


Josh said...

I have felt the same way about my new son. He's ignited in me the desire to continue to grow, which to me feels like a desire for a new life. I felt the same way after I got married too. And now after both the experiences combined I feel like the ball is rolling again, and I'm really excited for the ride.

NoSurfGirl said...

I'm overwhelmed, reading this, with the feelings I've had after the births of mine and my little sister's children.

Amy said...

I heard someone--I think it was C. Terry Warner, but I could be making that up--give an Honors Devotional at BYU a while back. The topic was "walking in newness of life," which is a quote from the writings of Paul somewhere. I don't remember anything about the talk except for the feeling I got about that idea--just a feeling about what it would be to walk in newness of life every day.

Obviously, our baby is the newest life I've ever seen. What an amazing experience. The high of that whole new person's being here is just incredible. One instant I was just glad that the pushing was over, and the next everything was different because they were handing me a little person who I was insanely in love with. It's like being able to see a new color, having her in my life. I want to keep that feeling of newness, too, the feeling that makes us want to streamline our lives down to the most important and beautiful and growing parts of it--like Danielle and some others talked about. I think that has to do with a sense of wonder.

Thanks for this post, and for being who you are and feeling about Babygirl the way you do. I'm grateful for your musings, and for the space they open up for me to sit in and reflect on things, too. I love my sister.

This is a really long comment. :)