...after enjoying the feeling yesterday of being all fired about teaching junior high French, I talked today to a member of my grad committee, who is a big name in my field (really big), and he told me of an interaction that he had over the weekend with one of the women in charge of the grant at the university, you remember, the one who requested a copy of my thesis, and she was optimistic about me being involved up there, and so this committee member and I talked about how I will approach getting myself involved up there, and now I am feeling torn.
I mean, I haven't received ANY kind of an offer to go to this university, and yet I am already contemplating if I really want to give up teaching at my school.
I mean, a PhD program is SUCH a big deal, and this would be SUCH a great opportunity for my specific skills, experience, and interest, but I have so much to learn about teaching, and only continuing to teach will help me learn it! And you know, that is why I wanted to teach before doing a PhD anyway - so that I'd have experience dealing with the issues that I instruct the teachers I train as to how to deal with. (did that sentence make sense?) And my teaching experience IS teaching me about teacher development, too - we do it at my school and in my district and it is very validating, since we address so many of the issues that I taught in my workshops and covered in my thesis.
So maybe all this just means that I am on the right track with my plans. Huh.