I feel happy :)

I just had a flash of feeling really happy, and thought I'd share. :) I'm working hard at and enjoying my new  project assistantship for this year, my coworkers are pleasant people, I'm working toward identifying a dissertation adviser and a topic, I've been getting enough sleep and still getting my work done - it's all good. :)

How are you??

A reminder

I was driving home from Mutual just now, giggling over how funny my dear friend Pam, our YW secretary, is, and I was struck, like I would have stopped in my tracks if I hadn't been driving :) , by the realization that I've been really HAPPY lately. Not just giddy cheerfulness, and not that I don't have my moments of stress over work and Arabic and school and laundry and groceries, but there's been an underlying level of lasting-feeling happiness and peace lately, for at least the last couple of weeks, and especially for the last couple of days, and I'm really humbled and grateful for that, and glad for the nudge to recognize it.

I think at least part of it has to do with the time I've spent with our youth - we had stake youth conference 2 Saturdays ago, and then ward youth conference the next Tues-Wed, so that was 3 full days in a 5-day span that I spent in close proximity with our awesome youth. It was so fun and uplifting to be with them! They're so funny and fun and GOOD. I went to a baptism this last Saturday, and one of the missionaries said while bearing his testimony that he's a better person for having known this new convert, and I was struck then by the thought that THAT was how to describe how I felt about the time I've gotten to spend with the youth these last few weeks - I am a better person because of the time I've gotten to spend with them and around them. They are GOOD people. They talk about and love the gospel, they serve each other and include each other, they are helpful and generally cheerful. Just good folk to be around.

And then yesterday was our ward 4th of July party, and I was reminded of the friends of all ages that I have in my ward, and how much I enjoy them. Oh wow I laughed so hard with Pam, and the YW (and leaders) ROCKED the YM (and leaders) in a tug-o-war, and I made friends with two new young couples that just moved in.

And also - one of our youth confided in me about a member of the opposite sex (teehee! didn't you LOVE being a teenager?!), and while I did NOT start the spontaneous water fight of the 10-yrs-old-and-younger crowd, I WAS the main target and DID get completely soaked (and did some soaking of my own as well, thankyouverymuch). :) And, people? If those last two items don't make a person feel like she's "arrived," I'm not quite sure what will. ;)

It's just been some really good times lately, and some good spiritual growth, and some good development of friendships of all shapes and sizes, and I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father saw fit to hit me with a 2x4 tonight and point out that - HEY! YOU'RE HAPPY! - because I sure wouldn't want to have missed this. :)

Distilled truth

Last night I was hanging out at my friend Teresa's house after a meeting, and I was maybe a little bit teasing her 12-yr-old son, and suddenly he said, "you'd be a perfect aunt."

To which I responded, "Yes, yes, I am." :)

"a long speech" :)

So this afternoon was the 3rd discussion with these native Arabic speakers that I found, and I really feel like it is helping - YAY!

I met one of them in his ESL class when I went there to help with some technical problems the teacher was having. The teacher told me she had native Arabic speakers in her class, so I gave 2 of them my email and offered to get together to let them practice English and me practice Arabic, and one of them emailed me!

So last Friday was the first time we got together - me and Martin, a guy in my class, and him and one of his friends. We decided that we'd do 30 min in English for them, and 30 min in Arabic for us. And I was thinking once a week, but Martin suggested twice a week, and they said ok! So we did last Friday, and then Monday and then today! Today is the day that went the most smoothly. All three times we started with English and then did Arabic, but the last 2 times much of the Arabic time was spent giving us new vocab and the conversation didn't really flow from the English part to the Arabic part, but today it totally flowed! It was time to switch to Arabic, and Martin was about to say something, and he said, "Just this one thing," and I said, "you can say it in Arabic!" and he did! :) And then they asked us questions - about our goals for learning Arabic - and so I did my awkward speech about how I want to teach language teachers, and - I think they understood! They prompted me and corrected me from time to time, and asked clarifying questions, but at the end one of them said, "That was a long speech, and you did it!" :) And I felt very successful!

We talked about food in our town, the ethnic diversity here, the acceptance of other cultures that (Martin feels) is prevalent in the US, and about religion, in the US and in Saudi Arabia, where these guys are from. We talked about good ways to study new words :) and about how Muslims aren't supposed to date.

I think we talked about all that stuff in English, and I can't remember exactly what we talked about in Arabic :) but I do remember that I followed most of it and that it was AWESOME to understand and be part of a conversation!

These guys are really cool about me stammering out my Arabic - YAY! It's giving me lots more confidence that I can do an OPI and not die! :)

And, I'm pretty proud of myself for FINALLY taking the initiative to set this up - it took me a while to have the guts, and I'm glad I finally did! :)

SNOW DAY TOMORROW!!!!

Aaawwww yeeaaaahhh baby! More time to play, I mean READ, on my new toy! heehee

AND my roommate's work got canceled, so she'll be home, too...

AND we both bought plenty of ice cream this weekend...

AND she has Netflix and bought a Wii a couple of weeks ago, so we have an endless supply of movies...

...it's gonna be a good day. :)

Hooray for...

...the cute little bunny rabbit I saw outside the public library last night :)

...the public library not charging me late fees for the two books that were two weeks overdue (phew!)

...good friend A getting baptized on Saturday!!!!! I'm so thrilled!

...the General Conference Ensign arriving in my mailbox yesterday - WAHOO!!!

Happy happy joy joy!!

I was chatting online with my sis just now, and then my niece woke up from her nap, and my sis typed, "incoming" and I got this in my inbox:

Subject: There's a message for you on the card



You can click on the picture to see the message on the card, and if her little pudgy hand holding the card and her tousled bed-head and her pink cheeks and her cheery little "I just woke up" smile don't just melt your heart...then maybe you aren't ME!

So I quickly took a (really bad) picture of myself with my cell phone, signing "I love you," and sent it to them, and my niece babbled excitedly at my picture. :) I love it. :)

Good quotes from today

"It's not a lack of cookbooks that makes one a poor cook." - one who prefers to remain anonymous

"Have you ever been to Hawaii?" - one of my profs

"Hang loose!" - same prof. (Turns out that's why he asked me the above question. And it's a good thing that I realized that that was why, because I was about to get really bitter about it.)

"You are in a good position - lots of people are trying to give you money!" - same prof, after he offered me a PAship for next year. And told me that he respects and admires my "intellectual assertiveness" and "intellectual excitement." :) :)

I found my local Justin!!

And just like the original Justin was when I first met him, he's a cute little 18-yr-old, pure and cheerful and good and happy and...what's that one word that means something like "really chatty and social and charming and good at talking to people?" Gregarious.

And he is now aware of his new status as my local Justin. And oh, he totally gets it. Witness the conversation we had last night at the Institute building, where there was a potluck before the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. I was chatting with my new Justin, we'll call him E, since that's his initial, right before Bishop and Sister N were getting ready to leave and give E a ride home:

Me: I just want to tell you that you remind me of the little brother of a good friend of mine, and it makes me really happy.
E (not bitterly, just observing): I think I'm the ward's little brother. Everybody tells me that I remind them of their little brother.
Me: Well, you remind me of Justin, the little brother of my good friend, Josh, and they are both my dear friends. So it's not like you're my little brother [and I made a motion like I was patting a small child on the head], it's more like...you're my Justin.
E: Well, if I'm your Justin, let me give you a hug.

And he did.

See?? He totally gets it!!

This is not the actual news update that I know you are all waiting for.

But I just wanted to express this, right now while I am feeling it, even though I feel it pretty often these days.

I am kind of intensely happy in my life right now. I'm really grateful that I feel that way, but it's kind of crazy, and really cool. It usually takes me a few months to adjust to a new situation and really like it, whether that be a new apartment or a new ward or a new state or whatever, but I am already feeling adjusted here and really enjoying my life, and that is a really fantastic feeling. I don't have a lot of time to post right now, so I may have to come back to this idea later to better communicate what I mean and to develop this idea, but almost every day I have a moment, like I did just now, of realizing how much I LOVE what I get to do right now.

I am in a PhD program that is really my field, and I am LOVING my coursework. (Weird!) Even the really long day spent all in one place the other day didn't drive me crazy because the work I was doing all day was so interesting to me! For my student job I get to work on the project that initially got me interested in this university, and within that job I get to do several different types of tasks, most ;) of which are really interesting to me, and that, again, are really in my field.

I am living alone for the first time ever, and I am loving it. I am really happy in my apartment, and I am actually cooking pretty much every day (shall I pause while you pick yourselves up off the floor?), and I bring my leftovers to school for lunch like a good little poor grad student. I clean my apartment, and I make my bed every day, and I have two bookshelves and a desk, for which I paid a grand total of $0.99. (And that was for pegs to hold up the shelves of the bookshelf that I found next to the dumpster at my apartment complex.) I bought my flatware at the dollar store, and don't own a frying pan yet, but there's lots that you can do with a saucepan with a flat bottom. ;)

I like my town, and I read on the bus, so my 30-minute commute to and from campus doesn't drive me nuts.

So it's not a glamorous life :) , and maybe I'm just in a "honeymoon period" and this feeling will wear off as I get used to things and get into the rigor of my program, but I really hope it doesn't wear off, and I feel so calm and normal about everything that I really don't think it will. Quite honestly, it thrills me, and startles me a little bit, how happy and content and at home I feel in this crazy new life of mine.

Just thought I'd share. Here's hoping that sharing doesn't jinx the feeling and make it go away! :)

Wordless Wednesday: Another reason I think San Diego is really cool

New life

I've had blogger's block for about a week now, which is not really that long, but the last time I remember feeling this way about blogging was right after President Hinckley died. I wanted so badly to write something profound, something meaningful, something significant, about his life, or what he meant to me, or how he impacted my life, and I couldn't get the words and thoughts to come together. I wanted to post this picture, my favorite picture of him, and to explain that it's my favorite, even though you can't even see his face, because what you can see is the love of the people for their beloved prophet, and their joy at being able to greet him. And because it's my dad's favorite picture of him for that same reason, and he sent it out to us after President Hinckley died, with some of his thoughts about him.

But I couldn't get the words to come together, and I didn't want to offer only a half-hearted post for something so important to me, even though I guess that's what I just did. :{

Well, my sister had her baby girl last weekend, and I'm feeling that same speechless kind of feeling! I am SO HAPPY that she's finally here, but I've been trying to figure out since she was born what I want to say to portray all that I feel about it, and I'm not sure I've figured it out yet...

I've seen pictures of her, and she is a CUTE little thing, with lots of hair, her momma's nose, and her daddy's toes. :) And I'm going to visit next week, for a week, and I'm really excited to BE there and to get to meet her and hold her and tell her I love her and see my sister and brother-in-law as parents!

And I've already had precious, precious conversations with My Sister The New Mom and My Brother-In-Law The New Dad about their baby, and about getting her here, and about what she means in each of our lives, and what we mean in hers. And she looks like both of them! I don't know why it surprises me, with each baby I see, when I see pieces of their mom and their dad in them, but it always does. It's humbling and beautiful to see how Heavenly Father took the physical characteristics of both parents, and mixed them, and came up with a new unique little person!

And my mom is there now, and I'm deep-down-to-my-core pleased and happy and satisfied that she gets to be there. She flew in about 6 hours after the baby was born, and I love LOVE LOVE that she is there - for my sister's sake, and for my niece's sake, and mostly for my mom's sake. Her kids, and consequently, their kids, are so important to her, and are the focus of so many of her actions and choices, and bring her so much joy, that it makes me profoundly happy to know that she is there and is so happy to be with her newest grandbaby.

And I was so THRILLED to hear that my niece was born that after I sobbed on the phone to My Sister The New Mom when she called to tell me the news I immediately stacked up and planned to return those 4 library books that I'd been renewing online again and again with the thought that I'd read the series again. It seems silly to me now, and it seemed a little silly to me then, that that was my big reaction to the news, but I needed to DO something right then - to have some kind of a fresh start, however small. It didn't seem worth it, with this new wonderful LIFE in the world, to let unnecessary and unimportant things clutter up my room or my life.

Happy Birthday, Baby Casey! I'm so glad you're here and part of our family!

Déjà vu

I just had a déjà vu - one of those moments when what you are doing/saying/hearing/seeing feels very familiar, like you've "already seen" that moment. I was typing an email for work, about coordinating between two timekeeping systems, listening to "In the Highways," from the "O Brother, where art thou?" soundtrack, and suddenly it all felt familiar.

I like that feeling; it makes me feel like I have intersected a moment of eternity - like I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things.

That probably sounds really superstitious, but it was such a nice peacefully familiar feeling that I thought I'd share.

Go ahead, zoom in.

So here's a thousand words about what I saw, bought, rode, and LOVED in NYC last weekend. Wahoo!

It's gonna be a good day!!

And here's why:

1. I did not have to scrape ice off my car this morning!
2. Even tho I slept until 6:30 instead of getting up at 5 like I wanted to, I STILL got a couple of kick-tushy French lessons prepared! YAY!!
   
3. I did laundry in the middle of the night so my favorite pants are clean clean CLEAN!

And that's enough reasons. :)

Two things

#1 - I missed my blog-iversary four days ago! I've officially been a blogger for a year. Weird. And I remember where I was in my old house (two houses ago :) ) when I felt that feeling that I posted about. And I remember what was happening in my life and in the lives of some of my good friends. It was a crazy, crazy time. :) And now here I am - thesis defended, 6 months into my first year of teaching, getting ready to apply for a PhD program (!!). A year ago I had one less niece, my sister was still in China, my other sis and her family hadn't moved into the state yet, I hadn't made my trip to France yet.

And I'm trying to avoid LOTS of really cheesy cliches right now, about time...and how it passes...and how we grow...and change...and even tho I mean it and it is important, to me and in general, I don't really know how to say it right now without it all coming out sounding like blah-dy blah-dy blah, so we'll just go on to thing...

#2 - I REALLY like BOTH of my jobs! How stinkin' COOL is THAT!?! Seriously, I had a GREAT day at the junior high today, and as I was wrapping up my day and getting ready to go home I thought, "YAY! Tomorrow I get to go to that other job!" I like that. :) I like that I feel prepared and well-placed in BOTH of my jobs. I like that I feel like I can contribute in both my jobs. I like that they are different and so I have a break from each one every other day and so I am still excited to go to each one. :) I like that I get 3 paychecks a month. :) :) It just feels down-to-my-bones GOOD to really ENJOY my work.

And that is all.

Blog out, internets.

I'm an aunt! Well...again. Or still. But anyway - YAY!!!

SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE!!

Heidi was born yesterday at 12:05pm. She weighs 8 lbs something, and is 20 1/2 inches long, and has hair!! and when I talked to her 5-yr-old big brother he said, "She had a poopy AND a wet diaper and Daddy had to change it!" and when I talked to her 7-yr-old big sister she said, "We're in the middle of a movie."

And my sister who is in China emailed the following:

I hear she's just a little smaller than I was when I was born... so, dainty, but powerful; substantial, but not cumbersome; assertive, but not overpowering...

Welcome to the family, little one!